Love (and Loss) in the Time of Coronavirus

It’s hard to know how to characterize this period of time we’re all living in. “These uncertain times”, “our new normal”, “this unprecedented time”, “the weirds.” That last one is my personal favorite (thanks, Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon!), although it doesn’t fully get at the intense grief and loss we’re all experiencing on some level.

This Harvard Business Review article — That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief — has made the rounds in the last month and helped kickstart some of the conversations about grief I’ve been hearing and participating in lately. In it, David Kessler says that “we’re feeling a number of different griefs…. The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air.”

I see this collective grief in the masks hanging from the dashboard of nearly every parked car I pass on my walks. A clear sign of how our world has changed. And of course, I see it in the eyes of my masked neighbors as I move to the street to give the space, while still waving and saying a muffled “hi” through my face covering — my attempt to establish some sense of the human connection I’m missing so much. The loss of jobs and lives hangs heavy in the air. We’re inundated with news and updates and statistics and it’s all just too much. But it’s real, and we’re faced with the choice of acknowledging our griefs so that we can actually live in them and through them. 

I’ve experienced grief at a personal level in many ways during the time of coronavirus. Grief over the trip to Europe that was canceled, the lost time with family, the lack of in-person connection with friends, and now the loss of work as I knew it.

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Moving from Fear to Faith

Today on the blog, we’re talking about Christmas and how to find hope in the midst of what can be a trying season. I’m sharing some truths that are changing my perspective, refocusing my heart, and bringing me more peace. Read on and join me in the process of moving from perfectionism to wholeness – from scarcity to abundance – by signing up here to stay posted on the launch of Enough.


Christmas can be a tough time for many people. The pressure to “be merry and bright” may have the reverse effect – heightening depression and loneliness, and leading to anxiety and burnout. We’re expecting joy at “the most wonderful time of the year,” and yet we often find a subtle sadness creeping into this season. We’re left trying to make sense of what we’re feeling and why. While there’s some comfort in knowing you’re not alone in this dichotomous tension, it’s still an uncomfortable place to be overall.

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7 Things I Learned from Online Dating

I’m writing a book about recovering from a life of performance and perfectionism. Subscribe here to get early access! 

Earlier this year, I published a piece called Everything I Know About Dating, and the response was overwhelmingly positive. Clearly, lots of people are interested in the topic of love and relationships, and I completely understand why! Dating is an often-mysterious experience full of potential for mishaps and misadventures as well as fun and finding someone you truly enjoy.

OnlineSo how do you navigate the rocky terrain of dating while enjoying the process and avoiding the pitfalls?

Each one of my relationships has taught me to examine the three spheres of dating and connection:

  1. How I connect with myself
  2. How I connect with someone else
  3. And (assuming we’re well-matched) how we stay connected to God throughout the dating process

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Pictures of Us: How God Is Writing My Story

IMG_9501It’s amazing what can change in a matter of two years.

In March of 2012, I wrote a piece with my writing group about pictures of old boyfriends. I realized that with some of these guys, we only took photos standing next to each other. As I wrote back then: “We made sense together, standing side-by-side. But failing to turn around and look at each other face-to-face, to really look at each other directly in the eyes, we never saw who we were in the deep, dark parts – the blackness of our pupils, the cloudy irises never captured on film.” Continue reading