After our first month of marriage, I shared 6 things I’d learned in the 30 days since we said our vows, honeymooned in Mexico, packed up my house in San Francisco, and moved our lives to Los Angeles.

1. It’s okay if things don’t feel different right away.
2. You don’t have to do it the way everyone else does.
3. Protect yourself and your spouse.
4. You’re more selfish than you think.
5. You have to shed your old skin.
6. Marriage is for life.

Now 16 months into marriage—which feels like a minuscule amount of time compared with some of the model marriages in my life—I still stand by each of those statements. (Feel free to pause and go back to the original post if you like—see you in a few minutes!) Naturally, though, those truths have morphed a bit and become more solid for me.

It’s almost as though they were a little too faraway before, and now they’re coming closer to me—or vice versa—and I can see them more clearly. Like when you see a familiar face from faraway, someone you think you know, and as you bridge more of the distance between you, you recognize them for who they are.

That’s the first truth of marriage that I’d add to my list from above… Continue reading →