growing up

Recently a friend and I were talking about when we first knew we were grown-ups…er, mature adults. When we knew we were women and not just girls. For me, it was when I bought my first bed. I had been living in San Francisco for nearly a year, sleeping on a mattress on the floor because it seemed more practical. I was in a relationship that was headed toward marriage. We were already talking engagement, so why bother buying a bed that would just fit me – not me and the guy I would be marring soon?

Well, even after our short-lived engagement ended and our relationship dissolved, it took me months to make the plunge and buy my own bed. There was a part of me that didn’t want to admit my relationship had “failed,” that I wasn’t getting married, that I was on my own.

But as I started to heal – thanks in part to time and good counsel – I realized I needed to embrace my single status instead of longing for the path I had thought I was on. The path down the aisle. If I didn’t, I’d never move on, I’d never grow.

So, I shopped around for a bed and bought the one I wanted – the pillow-top, full-sized, just-enough-room-for-me bed. After handing over my credit card and signing for the delivery fee, I felt an incredible sense of empowerment knowing that I could take care of myself. Continue reading →

Guys, I am not normally one to write poetry, but this was just too fun not to share. As you may know, I’ve been in a writing course for the past couple months with author Allison Vesterfelt. Her goal is to help writers as writers, not just help their writing. A big part of that is helping us discover our voices and really claim our messages, and part of that means delving into who we are as individuals and the experiences that have shaped us.

I’m excited to share more with you soon about what I’ve been writing – and what’s coming in that book I announced recently! – but in the meantime, I wanted to share this exercise with you and invite you to give it a shot. Personally, it helped bring to light some of the unique experiences that have made me who I am, and it helped me better understand what I want to share through my writing. Even if you’re not a writer, my hope is that this exercise could at the very least give you some space to process how your growing up years have shaped you. And, taking it further, it could help provide some of the certainty and clarity you need to move forward with whatever is in front of you: motherhood, a new job, marriage, or just learning to rest and settle into who you are. Whatever’s facing you right now, I hope this helps you walk into that season with a better understanding of where you’ve been. Continue reading →