C.S. Lewis

I am thin-skinned. An easily-bruising peach with a low tolerance for pain. As my family would say, I am a “delicate flower” – small things can upset the fragile ecosystem that is me. I wish I could say my paper-thin nature is limited to my literal dermatology, but it goes deeper than that – down into my heart and soul. An unkind word, a bad piece of news, or an unmet expectation has the potential to shake me more than I’d like to admit.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve developed a bit of a thicker skin – figuratively speaking, of course. I no longer cry when I get a wrinkle in my socks; although, if I’m being honest, that still bugs me. Like most people, my M.O. is to avoid pain and seek out comfort whenever possible. As a highly sensitive person, I experience my circumstances acutely. My surroundings, my feelings, and other people’s feelings affect me deeply. This is why I don’t watch the news, why I’m more prone to anxiety, and why you’ll never catch me watching a violent movie. Continue reading →

Life is funny. Just when you think you’ve understood something, it slips through your grasp, and you’ve lost the essence of the thing. You think you’ve come to understand the reason for your anxiety, your sadness, your compulsion to perform…but then you realize it’s even deeper than what you thought, and you still have so much to learn. There remains so much of God to know, so much he wants to reveal in you, so much to explore about others and how to love them well.

It’s like walking through a hall lined with mirrors when all you can see is the mirrors themselves, never the reality outside. The farther you get along the hallway, the more of the picture you can see. But it’s always a reflection, never quite real enough to touch, never the full picture. Continue reading →